Concepts about brain resistance to change - Dr. Joe Dispenza

@Magpie22 YES !!

What's brilliant about this 3-knowledge framework is it maps onto the polyvagal theory and triune brain model:

• Gut knowledge = Ancient survival wisdom (reptilian brain/vagus nerve)
• Heart knowledge = Emotional/relational wisdom (limbic system)
• Head knowledge = Rational processing (neocortex)

The person who mentioned shame is absolutely right - shame is so loud it drowns out our other ways of knowing. When shame drops in it....

• It hijacks the nervous system
• Cuts us off from body wisdom (gut knowledge)
• Overwhelms emotional intelligence (heart knowledge)
• Forces us into overthinking survival mode (head knowledge only)

This is why shame makes us feel so disconnected from ourselves - it literally cuts off access to two-thirds of our wisdom sources!

Wow thanks @0ddsidian

I find it very tough to watch Joe Dispenza but I'm plugging through. I'm almost ready to write about relational healing but I need to think this weekend and go through my books. - I am just ashamed I leaned on ai and Im pretty ashamed I did that.

My therapy is all about that. Relational healing.

But @0ddsidian what have I done with my life ? Nothing. Drawn a few pictures.

https://youtu.be/TGwDtSgmLHc?si=ruVEAU10rgGRI34d

It's really hard,hard, practicing relational healing. ide say as difficult at what Joe Dispenza says

I'm learning about the ' adaptive child,' which I think might be the first step to what it's all about

Try this -

Shift out of what you usually do like say ' abuse your partner,' ( me. I can rip his whole personality to shreds )

Instead -

Say,

"look............ I'm feeling like your angry, I love you, let's just go for a walk. "

What I do -

I would rip his whole personality to shreds. He would be ' WA ?? What are you doing ?

But I would do this because my little girl was never ever noticed when I was a little girl. Today, my little girl is wrapped securely around my heart. Sometimes I check her, bring her out and tell her that she's safe and I will never ever let her be unsafe. I place her back around my heart.

Because I love her.

@0ddsidian @I think Robert Bly used to write about shame. There was this amazing forum member called Aneroneon ( I think ) who would write at midnight and that he would write about shame.

Of course I can talk about my shame !!

...................................................

I personally think you just chuck all artwork away or just stick it all in another room . Feel the air around your body. Feel your feet in the ground. Feel the joy you give here in the forum's and you'lle naturally pick it up. It will happen for you.

Maybe when you address this -- written by you --

"I've been learning more about my own attachment wounds and attachment style and how this links with my inner child. We actually spoke about it briefly in a group on Wednesday."

What does those words mean to you ? Who or what is your inner child ? Does these words mean -

Attachment

Wounds

They are said a lot by women aren't they ?

Sometimes as you walk past a cafe you can see a group of women all getting close while they discuss their childhood wounds but does it make any difference ?

What will help you ?

Frequently moving

in my eyes is very unsettling. You have Mum unsettled ( packing boxes ) sisters brother's father not focusing on you.

It wasn't your fault.

But today it's your need to have a wonderful life moving forward.

What will help you ?

But why do I still push the people away who love me the most ?

"

100% ~ frequent moving IS incredibly unsettling for a developing nervous system. Your observation about everyone being distracted (mum packing, family not focusing) shows you understand how could create a felt sense of "I'm not the priority."

That question - "Why do I still push away the people who love me the most?", I totally see that as your nervous system trying to control distance before rejection happens. It learned early that getting close meant losing people when the next move came.

Your body remembers what your mind knows ~ getting close = eventual loss.

Clearing space, feeling your body makes a lot of sense. Sometimes we do need to get out of our heads and back into our bodies before we can create or connect again.

Your nervous system isn't broken. It's just still operating on old information.....

Keep asking the questions & doing the reflections ♡ that's growth

Hi @Oaktree thanks for tagging me. Creating new pathways takes as much time and energy as grading a road, and the job is never really finished. The talk was interesting, even if I made only half way through so far. M brain doesn’t like the prospect of changing and gives me instant fatigue when I start grading the road.

@ccau_82 I remember doing some work for a public hospital a while back, after doing some co-design stuff, and the theme of "shame" came up quite prominently. So I went digging around some journal articles and found this one.

Beyond a trauma-informed approach and towards shame-sensitive practice

I found it very interesting and insightful 😊

Happy to read your thoughts on relational healing (or anything really) whenever you feel ready @PeppyPatti ♥️

I actually use AI a bit in my work at SANE; not for when I'm responding to Forums posts, but I definitely lean on it.

---

But @0ddsidian what have I done with my life? Nothing. Drawn a few pictures.

---

Those are some heavy words and expectations to be putting on yourself, darl. From the short conversation we've been having here I can see that even in your interactions with me and @ccau_82 that you are absolutely chatting with us in a way that makes a difference. I'm sure if I trolled through the way you interact in other spaces that I'd find a similar warmth and thoughtfulness.

It's been helpful for me to think about the difference I can make in my little section of the world, which includes with SANE and in these Forums. It's also how I show up for and interact with my loved ones.

Will your drawings end up in a museum? Who knows? But if they make you feel good when you do them (and therefore put you in a better headspace), they make just one other person smile, or they help you connect with other people in ANY way, that still counts in my eyes!

Re. attachment wounds; I was the eldest daughter who took on the role of the mediator in my family. I was always balancing everyone else's needs, forgoing my own. I grew up quickly and cut ties with my inner child. She was the one who could cry and emote and be playful and silly. I recently started reaching out to my inner child again and made contact with her. Very early days though ♥️

My work here at SANE has been very helpful in feeling comfortable exploring this stuff. I've also got some amazing friends and a partner who are all open to helping me explore this stuff too.

Love the reflections you both have. Incredibly insightful and shame-reducing, for sure!

Dear @0ddsidian

Thankyou very very much for your messages.

I feel like I want to re say that I feel like a nothing.

Yes, it's true. I'm a nothing. I live, I die, I will be forgotten. No worries.

How I'm feeling at the moment.

after all these years of living just to survive the day -- I am very slowly learning how to feel. It's tough and at the same time getting in touch what the head injury did to me.

Thank goodness, I cleaned houses and went to therapy. Incredible.

I'm a very proud neurodivergent. To me-

that's my husband. He said in his vows to me when we got married

" He likes how I ask questions no one else asks. I like that however ----- it's in the bag of space that being vulnerable is in. "

So you go back to the little inner child. Oh. F. I was TAUGHT to be Nothing when I was a little girl. Today, my mum called my husband and gave him her second hand sofa. We went to get it and in my eyes, while I was standing in her house. She dismissed I am a mother.

After trauma therapy.

But she hasn't changed her behaviour. What has happened to me ?

So for many many years, remember I was just trying to survive.. ....when she did what she did -

This is what I was up against.

Wow. That bloody inner child.

And I get hit with horrible gut problems.

What were we talking about ? .

I'll try and listen to a bit more Jo Dispenza today.

Thankyou.

@PeppyPatti

I don't consider you to be nothing.

I value you!

You have a lot of very insightful things to say and I am sure that your husband adores you. What would you say to your best friend if she were you? I bet you wouldn't tell her that she were nothing...

@Oaktree I totally and completely value you too !!

.I think I was trying to explain but not very well was before sane forums

Before therapy - my mother brought me up like I am a nothing and it was very easy to either rebel from that ( push people away) or ...

Say

think I was physically very ugly.

I feel getting " in touch " with your inner child -

Not

Doing group stuff where you all talk about your wounded self

Which happens a lot.

But actually doing it sort of transforms you. But it's so much work.

You just can't go

Oh, hi. This is my little girl. She popping out from my heart to say g'day. We are going to talk about how to start up a pyramid sales thing to scam as many vulnerable people as I can.

Wish us luck.

[edited by moderator]

@ccau_82 @0ddsidian @yggdrasil

@Magpie22 @Glisten @TAB @ENKELI