Family counselling

Oh darn I lost my response. Will try again @Dimity

I hope your new psychologist proves to be decent. I generally keep the bar low and forgiving, but probably put too much expectation on myself.

Hearing you about not having victim mindset. There is a lot of intolerance socially, which might be why I have adapted and developed my humorous side. Standing firm on my accomplishments and finding the line where it is not boasting seems a delicate balancing act.

So sorry you had to deal with that toxic side of music in the family as well. Favouritism, competitiveness and confusion around self worth and performance are complicated and difficult to navigate.

I probably veered into science at first as it was very clear my mother had to rule the roost and music. She both pressured me and mocked me around piano practice. Probably contributed to my neck condition. It is not pretty.

Hepzibah Menuhin probably also dealt with it. I loved reading about her in the norties when I started to have more time.

https://trove.nla.gov.au/newspaper https://trove.nla.gov.au/newspaper/article/279724986/article/279724986

i could relate to her struggling with the competitiveness of Country Women’s Association in sponge cake making. They couldn’t quite play piano as well. lol. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

Its amazing and a testament that we both still love music.

🎵🎹🎶🙂🙏💙🍎

@Appleblossom Hephzibah must have had her own battles. The Nicholas family too.

Sorry to hear of the pressure and mocking. Me too but not so much about music.

I think it was my father who must have steered me into science... the books and copies of New Scientist were his. Although there was gardening and botany from my mother.

The psychologist is quirky, with a strong personality. She's decisive and thorough. We might get somewhere. Apparently my presentation is at odds with the severity of my assessment... so she was surprised. I suppose I appear impassive.

You have many strings to your bow with so many choirs and ensembles as well as accompaniment. Fitting in with them all shows you're actually quite adept socially, even if there's rocky patches sometimes.

I'm floundering at present but tomorrow's another day, I'll play it by ear.

Sorry you are floundering @Dimity

love that you will play it by ear.

🙏💙🌹🦋

metoo

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Sounds like there is a real potential for a good therapeutic relationship with your new psychologist.

Function and dysfunction can be so complex that a commitment to the relationship is important, not just labelling.

It gives me hope that we share deep interests in a range of areas.

I have 2 music visitors, today. One is a physics lecturer who is wanting to learn about music.

Yet, there is also much demonisation and rejection of me in significant relationships. My life has always had extremes. I just try to live amidst it all and look and strive for peace. There are some battles I can’t fight.

Hi @Appleblossom

Hope you enjoy your time with the physicist. I've known some lovely physicists in my time including 2 or 3 who were deeply musical. Happy memories.

Living peaceably amid the extremes is somehow reassuring - images of the sea becalmed amidst the tempest, or the parting of the Red Sea. The scary stuff happening around you.

I've been almost technophobic for a while but find I have to face replacing some devices, which will be challenging and expensive.

I agree about commitment to relationships. Recently it's been my lodestar. And there are glimmers.

@Dimity The physicist had a light bulb moment connecting the sound of his voice and the notes played on the piano as being related to frequencies and that he could match it. So, now I think he will make good progress.

Then had a Chinese friend.

Feeling privileged to finally have friends. Its been a long time coming.

Music can be incredibly intense, but also serene. I am lucky to have those experiences in a socially appropriate manner.

I am a bit of a techno phobe too. I often talk about the difference between science and tech. A lot depends on what the tools are used for.

There is an interesting documentary about Surveillance in China on SBS that I shared with my Chinese friend. We have talked about the cultural revolution in the 1960s, she knows from her family experience, and I researched it from our family in law experience.

Yes, there are good aspects, in that we “met “ on line.

🙂🙏💙🍎

@Appleblossom I listened to a speech from a US congresswoman and former CIA operative who speculated the US will devolve to a surveillance state.

Sounds as though the physicist may be only just beginning his musical journey. Could be interesting and quite rewarding for you.

The ground is shifting here and family counselling may be viable soon. Early days. I've invested a lot and feel drained. Now I need to rebuild my own capacity after so long.

@Dimity yes, shore up your reserves and sense of value and strength. I am glad things may be going in a better direction.

I am exploring music and relationships that are coming to me. Working with what is possible. Not needing to make my musicality about earning an income feels good in many ways.

Hello @Appleblossom nice to see you here and there, keeping on keeping on.

I've just joined a second activity group. They'll alternate weeks. With the home help that will be 3 catch-ups a fortnight. I won't know myself. Gotta start reconnecting somewhere.

I'm gingerly pursuing the family therapy. Trying to progress it without rocking the boat too much. We'll see what happens.

The garden is crying out for attention after recent weather but paperwork is piled high.

It is really good news that you have a couple activities. @Dimity I would like to hear about them. I hope they unfold well and you meet some good people.

I am struggling with social life with all the interpersonal complexities. Music runs deep and family runs deep so it is hard to keep it all neat and compartmentalised. I am not getting the right balance of closeness and distance. Normies seem to have so many blind spots, defences and less than ideal ways of being in the world. Not sure who has the most delusions. My hunger for purity is disappointed. I don’t mean to have high expectations. Trying to adjust and not let injustices all around torment me.

I am glad you have a cleaner, The garden and paperwork will always be there. Do what you can. Good luck with the family counseling.

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@Appleblossom but getting it all neat and compartmentalised and in balance implies stasis, or the unstable point where both ends of the see-saw are in the air at once. Some of the joy is in the movement.

The hunger for purity? I'm feeling jaundiced atm but my comments would depress both of us.

Tricky powerplays at present. Good luck with yours. I might have unleashed an avalanch with mine