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Something’s not right

Winter solstice

Winter solstice

Longest night of the year and the darkness and coldness have really hit. Things seem really bleak. I've been struggling for a long time and was pacing myself to this point but can't see beyond it. I'm safe but despairing. I'm trapped in a vortex of family dysfunction from earliest years and emotional pain, received and (mea culpa) inflicted. I can't help my closest sibling - all others are estranged - and I don't seem able to extricate myself from personal difficulties and dilemmas that at present ďefine me - I have no connections or other identity. I've lost faith in my mh team.

I guess the sun will rise tomorrow, and I'll keep taking one day at a time, but I can't envision a future, my future.

1349 replies

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In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Hi Nala2022, thanks for asking, I'm doing OK thanks. I still can't seem to post on my thread (Any diagnosed Hoarders or Germophobes) but it looks like I can post on my friend @Dimity 's thread here, yay!

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

@NatureLover it's still a bit awkward searching for threads and trying to tag but it's worth the effort, for me at least.

I'm very glad you're seeming relatively well at present. Did you achieve what you hoped to today?

My home help came today, after 4 weeks, and (surprise) commented I'd cleared more in the livingroom. I know I'd been trying to, but felt I hadn't made much difference.

I think it's a while until I see the psychologist, probably a fortnight. I'll have to muddle through somehow.

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I'm glad your home help gave you positive feedback, @Dimity . I still don't feel it's her place to comment at all, but at least it was positive.

I hope you can hold out till you see your psychologist next.

I didn't achieve what I wanted to (except laundry).

Still finding it frustrating not to be able to see the post I'm replying to.

Hope you are safe and heading towards being OK ❤️

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I couldn't post.

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

"Still finding it frustrating not to be able to see the post I'm replying to."

Agreed @NatureLover . And tagging is so much harder.

I've cut my post.

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Hope you're keeping warm enough. Weekend goals? Start again...

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

It's freezing, isn't it! I've been staying warm in bed in the mornings and not getting up till 8 or 9.

I'm going out both days this weekend so not much time to tidy.

Good luck with starting afresh.

@Dimity 

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Hopefully it won't take long to clear a path to the smoke alarm. I know you're happier going out on weekends.

I slept nearly all morning then did try to get moving this afternoon @NatureLover. I might have a visitor later in the week so I'll need to do more.

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I hope it's not too stressful tidying up for your potential visitor, @Dimity .

I find it hard to tidy and clean with no due date in mind. Plus I need to do some volunteer work today and tomorrow as it's one of the busy weeks at work this week.

Bother, I can't see what I'm replying to!

Thinking of you as you battle your bad depression. Here for you ❤️

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

@NatureLover thanks. I'm stuck at present re the tidying and everything else. Yes bad depression (dunno, bipolar depression, isolation/loneliness, c-ptsd) but today I heard almost everyone over 60 with autism is undiagnosed, and I heard some signs of autistic burnout, which very much resonates.

I haven't really spoken to anyone for a fortnight, coinciding with the forum failures. I've thought about ringing a helpline but doubt it would help.

I'll see the optometrist tomorrow. And hope it's a better week.

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