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Something’s not right

Winter solstice

Dimity Senior Contributor

Winter solstice

Longest night of the year and the darkness and coldness have really hit. Things seem really bleak. I've been struggling for a long time and was pacing myself to this point but can't see beyond it. I'm safe but despairing. I'm trapped in a vortex of family dysfunction from earliest years and emotional pain, received and (mea culpa) inflicted. I can't help my closest sibling - all others are estranged - and I don't seem able to extricate myself from personal difficulties and dilemmas that at present ďefine me - I have no connections or other identity. I've lost faith in my mh team.

I guess the sun will rise tomorrow, and I'll keep taking one day at a time, but I can't envision a future, my future.

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In response to: Winter solstice

Dimity Senior Contributor

Re: Winter solstice

@Appleblossom thankyou.

I'm actively working through, processing and trying to integrate aspects of my unhappy adulthood through my revisiting old records. I've done a lot. The EMDR is helping address unhelpful old schemas and distressing memories, particularly childhood ones.

I'm having trouble trying to make new connections, but my psychologist agrees it's important.

Yes i agree re the complexity and ongoing nature of family matters. There are new developments building on unresolved previous, and at some stage there'll be a reckoning. I've been told many times it's beyond my control but I feel responsible for finding solutions... sometime in the never-never. I'm running out of time.

You encourage me to remain optimistic by your example, and I'm grateful.

In response to: Winter solstice

Appleblossom Senior Contributor

Re: Winter solstice

Walking together //// but often I feel like I am waddling ... or paddling ... no I am not tipsy!

@Dimity

In response to: Winter solstice

NatureLover Senior Contributor

Re: Winter solstice

Well done @Dimity on working through old memories in records. And for doing the same with the EMDR distressing childhood memories too. ❤️

Hi @Appleblossom

In response to: Winter solstice

Dimity Senior Contributor

Re: Winter solstice

@Appleblossom just remembered i'd meant to respond re your burgundy "cords"... indeed I remember them from early '80's. Another friend also praised them just recently - she has a new pair. I've been happily wearing trews best described as caramel velour... snug and a nice change from Melbourne's ubiquitous black.

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