I can’t cope

@Captain24 sitting here doing diamond art and I was thinking about you ❤️.

I've been busy this morning but I really need to learn how to do one thing at a time so that I don't get overwhelmed. I was doing washing, dishes, cooking, folding washing, talking to someone. It was all happening at once, I couldn't stay focused on just one thing so i was going between everything and got completely overwhelmed 😞.

Even now that I'm sitting here my brain is going a million miles an hour of what else I could/should be doing, I can't seem to switch off today at all. I'm feeling so restless and my thoughts have been really intense, when I'm doing things it's a little easier to manage but as soon as I stop then everything just gets so strong and loud. I need to find a way to lessen things without having to constantly be doing something cos I'm burning myself out. I'm safe, doing diamond art with Casper by my side.

I hope work is going ok for you sweetheart ❤️.

Thank you for thinking of me @MissGremlin

I totally get that chaos. It’s so hard and just gets worse. Then my Austrian steps in and doesn’t cope with the chaos. Ifs a mind f@ck

This is where my self care and mindfulness is helping. Just sitting in the sun for half an hour on my phone is helping reset. Or taking the dogs for a walk because it’s all about them for that time. We need to find something for you. Do you draw? Could you sit and draw something in your garden?

Mum tried to put Pixies lead on this morning at my house and she didn’t want it. She didn’t want to walk. Mum took them in the car and walked around the sports field. Then this afternoon and puppies can up to play and was in Pixies face and my said she was so scared so they put her in the pram. 😢 I have a lot of work to do with her to get her confidence back. Mum said Jett was really good though. But the dog was attacking Pix and Jett was just in there. She knows it was after her and I think he knows so he feels safer

@Captain24 the chaos is crazy and gets so hard to manage. Whoever decided to allow both autism and ADHD to go together is insane 😂.

Drawing is one thing i can't do, i don't even like colouring anymore cos of what happened. I was sitting in my car today doing some crochet which helped to calm things a little. But diamond art is my go-to.

Awwww poor Pix, I'm sorry this has affected her so much. I'm glad that she has you though and mum to look out for her, I know you'll do everything you can to help her through this. Give her lots of cuddles from me and some for Jett too.

How was work today sweet?

We need to find something. It was a complete accident sitting on the grass and having it work. @MissGremlin Ao now I have a couple of things.

I’ll give them lots of cuddles. I’m about to have a shower and go to bed with them!

The morning was pretty good. Then the afternoon I changed diggers and then dispatch called me over the radio and said don’t go to this one go to that one. The digger operator and dump dozer operator of the dog unit I was going under first then had a whole conversation rubbishing me and say how bad I am. It was that bad that one of the guys piped up and told them to stop and told me not to listen to them. To late! So I’m not feeling really good about going back tomorrow.

Im tired so I need some sleep. Mum will look after Pix very carefully for the next few days. Her dog got attacked before and the other dog shook her around. So she is unfortunately experienced.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

@Captain24 I'm glad that you've got a couple of things.

A shower and bed sounds perfect and I'm sure they'll enjoy the cuddles.

I'm sorry that you got put down like that sweet, you didn't deserve it at all. I'm thankful that someone stood up for you but I get it being too late. I'm hoping tomorrow goes ok for you, try to focus on the good times you've had and when people have said good things about you and the work you do.

Hoping you can get a good night's sleep. It's good that your mum has experience even though it's not the sort of experience we'd want to have but at least she has insight.

Thankyou. Sending lots of love and hugs to you sweetheart ❤️.

It's been a really crappy nights sleep. I struggled to get to sleep but then kept waking up and this morning my head won't stop spinning, or more it's the room that's spinning. It's making me feel so sick to the point where I'm having to try to breathe through the nausea to avoid being sick which is so scary for me. I tried to get up earlier but kept going to the side so I've been laying down hoping that things settle but my hearing keeps going fuzzy. I'm safe, snuggled with Casper just really not feeling good at all 😞.

I’have that happen @MissGremlin. I have to find a safe position in bed and lay still. I’ll lay for a bit and try again. Take your time and don’t keep trying. Rest in between. Keep doing your breathing as it did make me feel sick. I have never actually been sick with it though, if that provides a little comfort.

@Captain24 I've had it happen a few times, it's so horrible. I managed to get up to make a cuppa and feed Casper but still needed to take things very slowly. Still not feeling particularly good, it's almost like everything is just tilting. Thankyou for the reassurance sweet. How are you going?

Hi @Captain24, I’ve just been catching up on posts as I’ve been off forums for a couple of days.

I’m sorry you have to deal with sleep apnea 😔 How are you holding up?

One thing that has helped occasionally is having salt. I don’t like salt and don’t use it cooking or on my food. I only have it here for if someone comes to eat here. Mostly my parents. But when I try it and I can actually put the salt in my hand and have it. @MissGremlin