I can’t cope

Those nights where you just can't sleep are so unbelievable frustrating and upsetting. I can hear how much effort you have been putting in tonight with trying a lot of strategies, yet none of these seem to be working. The exhaustion that comes with not sleeping can trigger stress hormones, which can create feelings of anxiety, nausea, and make those negative thoughts sit loudly in the mind. You are not alone in this experience and I acknowledge how challenging it can be to support yourself through these nights. It's great that you are reaching out to the forums here for a space to let these feelings out. Sometimes, just knowing that someone are here and listening can provide us some comfort.

I hope you have been able to get some rest with Casper.

Sorry you struggle last night @MissGremlin I was hoping for another good night for you.

I woke up a few times tossing and turning but the moments I was asleep were good.

The cysts didn’t scare me. I felt it and went to mums and got her to feel it. She immediately rang the doctor and back then it was easy to get in. He sent me for an ultrasound and I had a couple of them and a lump. I had to go and get it biopsied and it came but clear. That’s when I upped my health insurance to full cover not just ambulance and extras. I’ve had umpteen ultrasounds and mammograms since. I’ve had to have ultrasounds every 2 years since then. I was 29! I have had a couple of biopsies and a cone biopsy. It’s never worried me. My nan died of breast cancer back in 1997.

Have you ever been checked?

@Captain24 lastnight was a really bad one, I wish I was still asleep now.

I'm sorry you woke up a few times but I hope you got enough sleep.

I'm really glad they turned out to be nothing. That's a long time to be having to have mammograms and ultrasounds over the years but I know when there's a history of it in the family that it's routine to. I'm sorry that your nan died of breast cancer sweet.

I've never been checked yet.

Pix woke me up at some stage wanting to get on the bed. She gets off during the night and sleeps on the pillows. She was carrying on like she wanted to play so I got up and put her on the bed. She has stairs to

climb to get up which she usually does. Now I’m wondering if I stopped breathing! @MissGremlin

Careful this could be triggering as it’s about death and ‘feeling’ people who have left.

Ive never gotten over losing her or pop. They are the ones that my psych uses as my safe people in rescripting memories and ‘feeling’ them in my dark moments. I have this ability that I sometimes can actually feel them. I’ve had a couple of people tell me that I have 2 people watching over me.

Pop died in December 2003 and it was just before Christmas. I lived away then. I was driving home on Christmas Eve in the dark and there was this star just under my rear view mirror. Every time I turned or went around a bend it stayed there. I now see that start all the time and think of them. I got to midnight mass that night. Pop use to come with us every year after Nan died. He had the same spot in the same pew each time we went to mass. I sat next to him. He was at that mass that night. I felt him sitting there and so did mum.

To this day when we go to mass I leave pops spot there.

@Captain24 it's possible the you did stop breathing and that's why she got your attention.

I can understand this, not people for me but my pets that I've lost. It's such a special thing to be able to feel our loved ones and it can bring such comfort in the dark moments.

I’m hoping that that didn’t trigger you! @MissGremlin. It’s actually something special to have. My brother has it too. Apparently it’s the aboriginal in us.

Im on a roll this morning! I’m about to sweep the floors, wash them, have a shower and wash and dry my hair. Walk the dogs and then all I have to do is make my wraps for work. The schnitzels are cooked just waiting for them to cool! My house and lunches will be finished! Then it’s just unpacking the dishwasher and washing my towels which is nothing. I’ll be all yours by around 11-11:30!

@Captain24 it's not triggering at all, you're welcome to talk about it with me sweet.

You've done amazing sweet, well done. I've stripped my bed and put it all in the wash, it's just finished but I'll have to put it in the dryer when I get back. I need to have a shower aswell. For some reason I've been sweating so much over the last few nights.

Youve done well. The bed is t an easy task. It’s one I really have to talk myself into doing! Really hard and stern talking! 😂 @MissGremlin

Then it’s the making of the bed! I’m lucky as I have 4 sets of sheets and doona covers in rotation so I make it as soon as I strip it or I wouldn’t do it!

Im about to jump in the shower. That’s taking some talking too!

I use to sweat of a night too. It was pretty regular but when I had my IUD inserted it has stopped. The sweats start to happen with age! With you it could be that or your nightmares could bring it on. It’s horrible though.

@Captain24 haha I know those talks 😂.

I only have 1 set of sheets so it's a matter of waiting for them to dry before I can remake my bed. I do have a few quilt covers though and I'm going to put a new one on today.

I'm about to have a shower aswell!

It's not uncommon for me to sweat during the night, I've always gotten hot when I sleep. It is horrible waking up in a puddle of sweat though.

I’m still on my bed and haven’t had it yet! 😂 @MissGremlin Im allowed a rest, my house is spotless! I really need to so I can walk the dogs and then make my wraps and sit and do diamond art!

That talking takes a lot!

I use to always wake up sweating in summer before I had air conditioning especially in 40 degrees days when I was sleeping for nightshift! That was tough. I’ve only had air conditioning for 5 years though in this house. In summer here sometimes it can be 25-30 degrees over night! So it gets hot and I can’t sleep unless I have my doona!