LostAngel Senior Contributor
My Birthday and a feeling of Apathy
Hi Friends am safe just need to chat ,does anyone else have a simular feeling about their birthday where they have a bit of an uncaring or apathetic attitude about your own birthday ,like as an adult it kinda doesnt mean as much as it would when your younger type thing , anyway just to summerise theres been a heck of a lot going on in the few weeks leading upto my birthday this year alsot of adult issues to deal with in terms of negotiating bills and finances,having to be mature and react maturely as an adult to deal with a multitide of issues mainly being neighbor complaints,local goverment showing up knocking on my door and calling my phone and myself having to speak with tradies ect to fix unexpected house maintanence issues ,constantly having to be ready in event that the phone rings or someone else wants my full attention to speak with me about one grevience Im apparently causing them ect which was rather taxing for days ,one example is our very old tv ariel fell off the roof and I needed to ring around to deal with various trades people to resolve moving it, secondly I had neighbor and local government complaints about our yard and then having to comply and pay for a skip bin to remove excess rubbish in a timely manner ,I honestly dont know how I got through these situations as my anxiety was going through the roof and senses where overwhelmed with every person needing to speak to me and every call cause the phone was ringing and every person knocking on the door ,Things kept going for a time anyway I finally got to my birthday and then Had my mother visit for lunch the day before however on top of all the rest of people needing my attention and pressence my own mother stressed me further by her unruley behaviour of reacting to every knock at my door and every call ,aswell as more or less having a free lunch on me cause I paid for the meal ,anyway after that disaster of a day it was my real birthday so basically on my real birthday all I wanted was peace and quiet and for all the talkative people and noise to stop ,Im surprised how well I bottled my emotions to just keep dealing with situation after situation that presented itself literally at my door and on my phone messages and calls so My birthday itself was finally the one day of the week for rest and quiet ,except I still had another local government offficer show up uninvited and she yelled and pressed me for info on my birthday of all days ,I actually nearly cried right there ,anyway in between that on my birthday I tried to do any little thing for myself to feel better so I had probly a hour long hot shower ,Used lotion,brushed my teeth,brushed my hair sprayed on some favourite perfume really took the time to look after me for once intead of constantly feeling like a doormat for people to walk on ,and I listend to some music and ordered pizza for dinner and even though finances where a budget I still managed to get a little chocolate as a treat for myself and had a yum chocolate birthday cake and spent the rest of my birthday night just trying my best to unwind and enjoy the simple things of life so somehow the day was still salvaged as best as it could be , after that Ive just felt like doing absolutely nothing and just be a couch potato for this weekend thanks for listening friends sometimes its hard to juggle life responsibilities and still make time for just yourself but somehow I muddled through it ,even if not all my reactions where of a mature adult response