Can we talk about the mental load of "What's for dinner?" 🍽️

@ccau_82

When I was raising kids 5pm was the most stressful part of my day.

It's hard to come up with something the kids want to eat and to try and make it healthy too.

I used to wing it.

Cheese toasties appeared on the menu frequently, also spaghetti bolognaise.

You are definitely not alone.

Now that the kids have grown up and are out of the house, I still struggle with what I feel like for dinner. My hubby cooks for me a lot.

@ccau_82 I could have written this myself. It is such a struggle every single day! I am here to tell you that you are certainly not alone, and cereal for dinner is absolutely acceptable 😅

When asking what the family would like for dinner, I too get a whole heap of shrugs or 'anything/whatever'. It truly is such a burden when you're carrying the mental load of everything else in the day-to-day family life. If you'd like the honest truth, there have been many nights lately where I've refused to make anything since no one is willing to tell me what they would like- And those nights are when cereal or bacon and eggs come to save the day!

Maybe popping the meal rotation or the meals you have set out for the week onto the fridge where everyone in the home can see it, and if there's any objections, they can put forward their idea of whatever meal they'd rather be having?

@LG @ccau_82 @GalaxyGuide @Oaktree

I absolutely agree - and when people are all like “I don’t care” until you cook something and then they’re like “I don’t want that”. So annoying.

In theory my husband and (adult) kids are supposed to help with the load, but in practice it’s not so simple. My husband gets really anxious when he cooks and only knows how to cook a few things so usually when it’s his turn he just shouts takeaway. My daughter cooks food that my son and husband don’t eat, like curry, and my son will cook but only on his terms. So it’s usually me. I always say I don’t mind cooking, but planning out the week is a real chore.

I have a pretty good repertoire of stuff that is on rotation, depending who is at home I can switch it up. Son doesn’t like stew. Daughter doesn’t like meat (but will eat it). Husband doesn’t eat anything spicy. Exhausting. And now it feels too late to change the dynamics, or if not too late, at least too much effort.

I do use a lot of shortcuts though - prepackaged salad, those bags of microwave potatoes, one tray bakes. The recipe tin eats website is my most visited website (except for Sane) - every recipe on there just works.

That's hectic @Magpie22 !

The kids here will like something one day and hate it the next... you can't win. I'm the one who buys food out for them because I don't cook. Otherwise, my sister cooks and I eat.

I keep it fairly relaxed. No rigid rotation. At least a dozen acceptable meals. Nutrition and then taste my priorities. Never really had any rejects. Maybe my kids got used to a low bar. The 2 girls didn’t really help while minors, but by time my youngest was 16, he asked to learn to cook, and has contributed ever since.

I kept a vegetarian, vegan and meat friendly kitchen to keep things inclusive.

After I separated, and had a small supermarket in walking distance, I kept to the style, that FRESH and healthy, and it kept me doing short useful walks. Then I was only cooking for 2 instead of 5 or more. There was appreciation, and I actually began to enjoy cooking.

yep, bulk cooking, with at least a container for the freezer has been a staple. Soups, stir fry, spaghetti bowl.

yes I asked for ideas, and was open to feedback , but I found that so long as I kept meals coming with low stress seemed the best approach, rather than over catering to individual tastes, I kept a sense of good enough for daily consumption and then, a little bit special, for whatever reason. Despite all the family fragmentation, I suspect I fostered 3 kids with modestly healthy taste buds, so at least that was a win.

We could make a special focus on individual wants, when we went out to a restaurant.

@ccau_82 @Magpie22 @LG @GalaxyGuide @tyme

What an interesting topic over here. I read the thread a number of times and I totally resonate (for my sister). Three kids, three dishes. One husband, another dish.... @Appleblossom

I don't cook. My sis just leaves me a meal.

But yes, mental load it is!

One likes pasta, the other likes macroni.

One likes apple slices, the other likes apple wedges

One likes mozarella, the other likes tasty cheese...

Can't win!

My sister put veges and pork on the BBQ today. One kid didn't want onion, another didn't want eggplant, another didn't want 'chewy pork'... what's for dinner? They can go hungry!!! @ccau_82 @Appleblossom @Magpie22 @LG @GalaxyGuide !

So I'm working on trying meals that are nourishing their bodies and explaining why that's important. We've also tried a couple of new dishes which they've eaten. Tikka Masala chicken with brown rice (winner), chill con carne, very mild on wraps with salad fillers (carrot, cheese, lettuce, sour cream), Tuna Mornay.

The meals that always win are roast chicken and veggies, home-made (air-fryer) fish and chips, home-made pizza.

Both our girls are GLuten intolerant for behavioural/ self regulation reasons so we use GF ingredients....

I'm ALWAYS after new ideas to try

@tyme @Appleblossom @Magpie22 @LG @GalaxyGuide

Are your kids school aged @ccau_82 ? If so, we need a new chat about the Mental Load of School Lunches! (For parents!)