Grief and coming to turns with an injury that makes me feel incapable and vulnerable

Hi everyone, I was alwasy a fircely independant, brave and courageous woman, but in June last year I suffered an injury to my dominant hand through being mugged. At first it just felt like a set back, the mugging was quite minor in the sense that he wasnt trying to hurt me, he just wanted to get my camera.

I had been in a really good space for 6 weeks of travel, and it was the first time in many years i was feeling joy and awe and wonder and hope and all the things that over clouded by depression and cPTSD, i was actually feeling on the rise. this happened and my head space was still great, but then I was mismanaged by the hand therapist with multiple breaches in duty in care and the terror and distress within this and fear of loosing ability in my dominant hand impacted deeply with compoundimg more trauma each session.

This extreme barrier/ delay in recovery meant the trauma from the mugging got held inside my hand. rather than released as it regained movement (which was very delayed).

It's been over a year of rehab with better hand therapists which is so deeply tiring when i was burnt out three months in. I am now staring to discover life long limitations and pain that will remain and this has been very hard to come to terms with.

My whole identity has been lost as an indepedant, queer and practical woman and there has been little ability to any of the things i love. It has been a year of terror, grief and fury and virtually no sleep with the spirals.

but today i was able to finally submit the complaint, its been very daunting as its so complex layered and triggering a the person involved is the head of the department. I got too overwhelmed to fully complete /list every detail, but i felt it was time to get the ball rolling. i feel proud as i feel its a sign im moving forward and maybe the complaints department have my back, but maybe it becomes my word against theirs as they have revised all their clinical notes to cover their tracks and make me look like an erratic angry person, rather than seeing the context of distress in moments there were breaches and negligence in duty of care.

Im curious if any of you have ever experienced not just betrayal of a system (ive had that in the past with mental health institutions), but more so debilitating injuries that have changed your life completely and maybe youve found a way to a more positive mindset. i feel like im in the depths of the depressive stage of grief right now, its alot.

im still very angry that someone i was dependant on for care and recovery made my injuries worse and my life so much harder, and as i begun looking into legal avenues discovered they have changed records to cover themselves, in ways removing the ground i stood on all over again. Eg how can someone in a sense steal your future and then also make it so you are the bad guy? But im also ready to start moving forward

I would love some validation, encouragement and solidarity if anyone has experienced and moved beyond something similar.

Thankyou, i am new today and so grateful to have found this group