Suicidal ideation and Support

I know how you feel. When my husband was still alive my whole life revolved around keeping it that way. After his suicide attempt [edited by moderator] then he couldnt walk or talk for a couple weeks. The next time I watched as he made another attempt [edited by moderator].

Hi @Elenor123

That would be distressing for any parent, and empowering them is very wise but hard for you.

Both of you can be supported by most services so you can each call.

Some suggestions:

• https://parents.au.reachout.com/mental-health-and-wellbeing/suicide/what-to-do-if-your-teenager-is-suicidal
• https://everymind.org.au/institute/our-experience/guiding-their-way-back-support-groups
• https://rosesintheocean.com.au/peer-care-companion-warmline/
• SANE's Better Off With You: https://betteroffwithyou.org.au

Given your particular use of pronouns, do they have a preference for LGBTIQA+ support too?

Hi Elenor123,

Thank you for sharing about your 18-year-old daughter’s mental health challenges. It takes courage to share. Thank you.

From what I am hearing, you are doing a huge amount to support your young person, while also carrying a lot of worry and stress yourself. It makes sense that you are desiring a balance between keeping them safe and supporting their independence.

I want to acknowledge that you are already doing many important things: staying connected, encouraging help-seeking, supporting appointments, and linking them in with services such as Safe Haven, the GP, psychology and community mental health. These are significant protective steps.

If you are ever worried they may be at immediate risk of harming themselves or are unable to stay safe, it is important to seek urgent help by calling emergency services, 000 or attending the nearest emergency department,

In addition, crisis lines are available 24/7 to offer support therefore encourage your daughter to contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, or Kids Helpline is Australia's free, private and confidential 24/7 phone and online counselling service for young people aged 5 to 25 and Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.

Fo parent/carer support you may find it helpful to contact Carer Gateway - https://www.carergateway.gov.au/ on 1800 422 737.

I encourage you to keep connecting with your peers on the forum and leaning into the community - you’re not alone in this.

Wishing you and your daughter the very best.

Take care,

AltZing-Connect

@icantbreath thank you for sharing your story so openly. I'm so sorry for your loss. That sounds incredibly hard. I'm so sorry you've gone through everything you have and continue to. I hope you are looking after yourself as best as you can.

Thank you for your advice.

I know I need to look after myself to keep myself strong for my child, but I feel I am literally just getting through each day. I feel exhausted, overwhelmed and find myself crying regularly through the day so I know I'm not doing so well. Self care is on the back burner when caring for her. I'm emotionally drained.

I will seek out further professional help and resources too.

@AltZing-Connect thank you for your support and the information.

She has just updated her safety plan and needs to see a psychiatrist to also review her meds. Trying to think of everything possible to put preventative measures in place.

@Radder thank you for all

your helpful suggestions.

Ive sent my daughter a couple of links from them.

@Elenor123 you are doing all the right things.

A key part of her safety plan is helping her identify an element of doubt or a reason to live, so that she agrees to keep "safe for now" while the other supports do their work. People can get tunnel vision during a wave of ideation, and the safety plan reminds them of the steps they need to follow. My go-to is the Beyond Now app - it's always on the person's phone and can be shared with supporters.

There is no shame in self-care - as you say, if you are in a better state, you can help her better. Perhaps find a grounding technique that helps reduce your overwhelm: https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/support-toolkit/techniques-and-guides/finding-relief-through-grounding-techniques

Good luck. You can get through this. Look after yourself.

Hi @Elenor123 , I can feel all the things that you are talking about. Though i didn't grew up in this country, i went through sever depression and anxiety when i was 17 till 22. I have missed lot of exams and classes during my uni. My mom used to cry for me and that used to rip me appart years. Things were very hard inside my mind. I used to wake up middle of the night with so much fear and anxiety but restricted myself from disturbing my mother or sis. I hardly wanted to wake up in the morning or had energy to do anything. But one thing that kept me moving forward was saying to myself 'BRAVE MAN DIES ONCE IN LIFE TIME' and kept on passing days and years. After i started working, things changed a bit i got my self confidence back and moved forward.

Not everything is till green, i am 43 even now some times still have depression and anxity once a while and keep telling myself that same words.

Tell your daughter its all temporary and its just mind that sometimes tricks us. Let her find a line to keep telling herself when she feels low. Be her strength and say that you will always be there for her whatever happens.

God bless your daughter and god bless us all. Thanks

Ignore any spelling mistakes

@kindfish yes mental health is so complex. Families supporting people with this also suffer with the person experiencing the depression.

I would never want my daughter to feel like she is a burden though, she's not. She's so loved and it's my job to support and help her, no matter how old she is. She will always be my child and I am always there for her to be her strength.

I have been telling her that these feelings are temporary, she won't always feel like this and she has so much support.

it's very hard to get her to see a different point of view - that taking your life is never the answer. If she could have some hope and willingness to get better it would make a difference. I am helping her as much as I can one day at a time, and also linking with relevant services.

I am grateful for the support from this community too.