mum of kids who have left the nest

Hi @Fifiefoefum welcome to the forums. I'm glad you've found this space to connect and find support, especially after your kids have taken flight. It can be such a bittersweet experience, and I think it's normal to adrift and uncertain.

I hope you find this to be a warm and welcoming community <3

Hi @Fifiefoefum,

I think many people feel the way you do at this life stage, having spent a couple of decades intensely parenting.

In my experience, our identity as a parent can swamp our own personal pre-kids identity and it takes a while to discern who we are now as a twenty or so years older person with the life experience and maturity that goes with it. We will always be parents, but the relationship transitions from adult-child to adult-adult. It's a period of transition. Try to approach it with curiosity as you reconnect with your personal likes and values to identify new meaning and purpose in this stage of your life.

I think its important not to over-think it: as Henri Nouwen said "you don't think your kind into a new way of living, you live your way into a new kind of thinking", i.e get out in the world and try new things.

If the feeling persists and is impacting your daily life, counselling is a wise option.

My three children have left home now and honestly I was sad for some time. Things seemed a bit pointless for a while. I have kept a lovely relationship with all three which helped. Mainly I have found its important to have your own goals and things to do and look forward to.