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Advocating for change

Artificial -> Organic

Artificial -> Organic

This is a personal view which you do not have to agree with but please be nice....in my own experience mental health has always been at its worse while relying on online systems/supports/connection. It's too easy to be someone else, to provide fake care and to dissociate/become comfortable with hiding behind a screen. As great as the online systems can be, it takes away the need to connect organically. Some loss the ability to connect in person and you are considered weird if you say hi to a stranger. We form most of our relationships through school or work which mainly because we are forced into a situation where we have to socialize with the people around us - and its normal to do so. How many would say its easy to make a new genuine friendship? or build a genuine relationships? Online forums create a world were we instantly base an interest off a photo, not who the person is or what they do, but how they look. Now we call know looks grow and change as we evolve, but what stays? Personality, values and beliefs generally stay fairly stable. To find this more venerable side of a person you actually have to want to spend the time and effort to get to know them underneath the mask we all wear, what you see is a facade that many can hold for years. What happens when it falls off? Many find they are not compatible they break up or they get divorced, naturally this can happen even if the time is spent, as people grow our needs change (so we think) the reality is our core needs never change, what actually happens is over time as we get worn down by life we stop being able to ignore our core needs, they beam and say I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF FEELING THIS WAY. With this often change follows.

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In response to: Artificial -> Organic

Re: Artificial -> Organic

Hi @NatureCats

i read this post last night after I crawled into bed and lay there wanting to reply but not sure what exactly to share and then the Zzzzzz hit me and I fell asleep.

im still not sure exactly what to share, but I have made so many friendships over online sources over the years. In the early 2000’s I would spend many many too many hours into the early hours of the morning connecting and chatting with folks from all over the years on chat servers. And I had the opportunity to meet so many of them (I spent 3 mths in Canada one year and while there met a whole gang of girls that all chatted together, I had a beautiful friendship with a Dutch girl who came out to Australia for a couple of weeks to meet me. ) and while I’m not really in contact with any of them anymore I think I can say they were all genuine friendships.

I also met my now ex husband on a dating app. And while everything started out fab I maybe wish I had listened to my gut towards the end of our dating before we got married, but then I wouldn’t have my daughter who is my world.

I totally agree that people can act completely differently online. That actually reminds me of one friend. There were a few of us that knew her as a young girl who looked and acted as though she had lived a rough life. I had met her in person a few times and she went to the USA to spend time with a mutual friend and we both believed she was young. Shortly after her return from the states she went quiet. No online activity which was not like her. I decided to contact the police to do a welfare check on her…. Police called me back a day later saying that she had passed a couple of weeks ago suddenly. And she was in fact much older than she had lead us to believe. I felt sad. And I felt angry… stupid that I believed her.

I actually don’t have many ‘friends’ irl. Most were from my church and I stopped going over a year ago and people don’t contactme anymore. Making friendships irl is crazy hard for me. It’s one thing I really miss from my work. The friendships.

online friendships… connections can open you up to a whole world of different things, which you need to be cautious and guard your hearts, but you can also make some beautiful friendships that support and mean so much to you.

sorry if I rambled. And if any of this doesn’t make any sense or is related.

In response to: Artificial -> Organic

Re: Artificial -> Organic

Id love to make online friendhips :)

In response to: Artificial -> Organic

Re: Artificial -> Organic

Hearing you @NatureCats

I love the way you titled this thread and opened the discussion.

I was very ambivalent about being involved on Sane forum for these same reasons, way back when I first joined. However for reasons in my personal and family life, I persevered and I am grateful.

Being online did help me gain social skills and feel a little connected while I was very isolated and had nobody in real life, except somebody who was dependent upon me. It kept me more optimistic, for him.

All along, I have tried to balance my in real life activities and virtual connections. Nowadays, 10 years later, I do have a LOT more in real life people. So for me, I took the online mode as a practice place... it also kept me going when things were higgledy piggledy in real life ....does that make sense?

I still find I have to make a lot of compromises.... online and offline....its the best options I have found.

Hope you have a decent day.

gently bently

apple

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