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i need friends or atleast people i can talk to

Dustymind Casual Contributor

i need friends or atleast people i can talk to

Hi everyone

im 31 dad of 2 and stepdad of 4 so six kids all up

ive been with my wife now 10 years and i wont lie its been at my own hands been rought and broken so many times im at a loss why its still going, im glad it is and im luck to have her.

TW: Miscarriage, Suicide, Drug Use

Content/trigger warning
in november we lost twins early into the pregnancy was hell physicaly destroyed my wife the medical missmanagment left pregnancy tissue still connected so multipule hemoriges get to january and im on the edge things are hard i tryed to attempt ended up at sunshine mental health inpatient for 10 days. that was good but led to a dependence [edited by moderator] which I ended up drug seeking with 2 attempts done out of spite.

I have very little support and absolutely no friends so would be nice to change that.

4 replies

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In response to: i need friends or atleast people i can talk to

Taali Senior Contributor

Re: i need friends or atleast people i can talk to

Well hello there friend 🧡

We are here for you no matter what

This is a safe place for you to disclose anything that you're comfortable with

Please go gently my dear

Do you have a trusted GP or mental health professional that you can talk to

Use this forum to find supportive and helpful friends

We're all here for you!!!!

Yours is a difficult road but can be a bit more gentle when you reach out

Taali 💙

@Joshlord

In response to: i need friends or atleast people i can talk to

Me43yoF Contributor

Re: i need friends or atleast people i can talk to

I am really sorry you and your wife have been through all of that. Losing twins, watching your wife suffer physically, then trying to keep a big blended family going on top of your own mental health crashing, that is a huge amount for one person to carry.

I am glad you posted. That tells me there is still a part of you that wants connection, and that part matters. You are not weak for needing people. You are human. None of us are meant to get through grief, parenting, marriage pressure, suicidal thoughts and drug dependence alone.

I also want to say this gently. The fact that things got messy with dependence and attempts does not make you a bad person. It does mean you deserve proper support around you, not just willpower. A GP, your mental health team, a drug and alcohol support service, a counsellor, a peer group, even one safe person you can message when things get dark. Start building a small circle, one person at a time.

You sound like you love your wife and your kids, and you also sound exhausted. Being a dad and stepdad to six kids while grieving and trying to repair yourself is massive. Please do not try to be the strong silent one through this. Let people know plainly what you need. Something as simple as, “I am not doing great and I need someone to check in on me,” can be a real start.

I am happy to chat here. You do not have to have perfect words or pretend you are fine. Just keep talking.

In response to: Re: i need friends or atleast people i can talk to

Shaz51 Senior Contributor

Re: i need friends or atleast people i can talk to

@Determined

Hello 😊 @Me43yoF , @Joshlord , @Taali

In response to: i need friends or atleast people i can talk to

Gabbertron Casual Contributor

Re: i need friends or atleast people i can talk to

I want to say I'm sorry, how sad and unfortunate what you and your family have endured, because it absolutely is!! But I'm sure that you've heard it so many times that it's basically lost meaning.

What I will say is, give yourself a pat on the back for knowing that you need a little extra support from similar people. Random people that can give you a little boost. I commend a young man for being vulnerable.

There's nothing wrong with some outside hands helping you so you can be the best husband and father you can. No-one gets it right all the time mate, don't be hard on yourself!

I'll be around if you need a chat.

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