Supporting Partner: CPTSD, ADHD, OCD, Severe Anxiety

Hi @anonymousgoose

I hope she and you are safe. The second last paragraph is concerning

But Trauma Informed Care begins with "Safety and Stabilisation" and you could maybe facilitate some of that safety BEFORE bringing in professionals. Just get her more at ease with the idea

000

or

Psych triage at your local hospital

If she's a danger to herself or others

But if not... slow down and foster safety

Hey man, I deal with a lot of the same problems so I'll help the best I can.

First up, I need to stress that you shouldn't become responsible for her recovery. I understand you love her, but that is a surefire way to put pressure on yourself that drains and harms you in turn. Kind of like rescuing a drowning person, without having lifesaving skills.

If there's something I'm ever told about constantly by medical experts, it's that people who support loved ones need healthy boundaries or they'll be dragged down too. And it doesn't do to romanticise it; it's unhealthy, so just be mindful of that for your own sake. She needs a support NETWORK; all that responsibility does not belong to you.

Going back to your partner, I'm positive there are online sessions with psychologists you could consider. That way at least she's in the comfort of her home and can take it a bit more at her own pace. The schedules are probably more open (like night appointments), so you don't have to sacrifice your days off to be there (self-care, mate! don't start neglecting yourself in this! you need your rest!).

Since I have most of the same medical conditions, I can promise it gets better. It's great she wants things to improve, and it's sweet you wanna be by her side through it. Just make sure she takes those steps in her own strength; while we sometimes need to lean on people, we have to experience the challenge and survive it to empower ourselves and regain confidence. As long as your mindful of that, I'm sure things can improve.

As for the OCD, it's easily one of the hardest illnesses. I've also behaved like that and been called "manipulative" because of it. Really opened my eyes and made me respect shared spaces more. I feel like she may be losing sight of your shared space and respecting that you deserve the right to live as you wish in your own place. OCD can be nasty, but it's important she respects your right to live, so maybe you guys could have a talk about that. Not fair for the stress of her OCD to rub off on you.

Take care. Hope it all gets better soon.

Hi there sorry to hear that both of you are going through a difficult time. CPTSD is a very difficult thing to go through. It is usually due to trauma or abuse of some form. ADHD has similar symptoms to CPTSD but requires different treatment. Your partner would have gone through trauma due to some sort of abuse. This can be witnessing violence or been directly attacked physically or sexually. Your partner can get support from Victims Services in your state. They will pay for 21 hours of psychological therapy from an approved counselor or psychologist. They also do payments as part of compensation for the trauma experienced but needs to be approved. There is a form you can fill out for her.

CPTSD causes a lot of physical symptoms and severe anxiety not to mention the trauma she would have went though. It causes a lot of mistrust. It is normal for her to push away people she used to communicate with.

Is she on any medication? If not she will need to see a doctor in your local area that supports mental health and be put on medication. If you are ever worried about her well-being or safety you can call the mental health line in your area that will come out and assess her.

Panic attacks are not nice and seeing your partner go through them is also stressful. If she did attend the online or phone appointment with the consellor or psychologist they would be able to give her a lot of help to manage those panic attacks. Psychologists are well versed in panic attacks.Tell her that in a supportive way.

She is also very lucky to have someone beside her that is supporting her. If you have any more questions please feel free to reach out.