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Managing relationships

Family

Tarmac_6 Senior Contributor

Family

Hi everyone

I have been on here before talking about my family and I guess I’m looking to see if anyone relates and can give me some advice. I have always had some issues with my family due to a combination of my mental health issues and some of the situations that occurred in my family. Because of this I have become unable to talk to my parents about anything personal in my life, even being nervous for a doctors appointment or something feels too exposing to me. This makes it difficult sometimes as I don’t feel like my family understands me and I often feel left out. My parents have such good relationships with my sister and I just can’t do that. My mum I think has noticed some of my frustrations and has suggested that we go to family therapy but it just sounds like the worst thing in the world for me. But am I just going to continue feeling unnoticed and not cared for? Part of me wants my family to know about everything to get their sympathy and part of me wants them to just be sympathetic without me having to bare my soul.

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In response to: Family

tyme Moderator

Re: Family

Hey @Tarmac_6 ,

Thank you for posting. I hear the situation you are in, but I'm not sure I really get it.

Do you mean you want to feel seen and heard but you don't want to be smothered by your family?

Do you think the frustration is more to do with the differences in how they treat you and your sister?

The fact that your family want to engage in 'family therapy' sounds like they notice the disconnect and want things to improve - but possibly don't know how?

Please correct me if I'm wrong. I could be totally off track.

Take care.

In response to: Re: Family

Tarmac_6 Senior Contributor

Re: Family

Hi @tyme, thanks for listening. I guess maybe I don't really know what I want. I think I'm very uncomfortable with being vulnerable or sharing personal information but I also feel misunderstood and I wish I wasn't uncomfortable so I could have the relationship my sisters have with my parents. So yes I guess that does make me frustrated but I can't blame anyone else for that.

Basically, my twin sister has had some mental health issues which has sort of made her not super independent and needs more help than me or my older sister. I think this has built resentment as I tried to stay out of the way when things were hard with her but I felt invisible.

I feel terrible about being so uncomfortable about engaging in these convos with my parents and because of this I think my mum doesn't really know why there are issues between us and this might upset her which is why she thinks therapy would be a good idea. I have spoken to my therapist about this because I don't think i'm ready for that. I'm just scared I never will be and I'll always have issues with connecting with family.

Does this make sense?

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