I don't know how to deal with autistic burnout when a lot of the suggested strategies seem to be "do more"

Hey @Jlol , I’m really glad you shared this. I’ve been through something similar, the burnout and exhaustion from constantly pushing yourself is so real. Some days it feels like even the smallest things are impossible, and that doesn’t mean you’re lazy or not trying hard enough.

One thing that’s helped me is going at my own pace and giving myself permission to just do the bare minimum sometimes. With chores or responsibilities, I try not to think about the whole pile, even just tackling one small thing or breaking it down step by step can make it feel a bit more manageable.

Tiny moments of rest or low-pressure activities can also help, even if it’s just a few minutes of quiet, sitting outside, or listening to music without needing to “do” anything. It’s not about adding more to your plate, just letting yourself breathe where you can.

You’re doing a lot already just by showing up and keeping things going, and it’s completely okay to slow down and give yourself that space. You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way 🌻

Thanks @Nala2022

"With chores or responsibilities, I try not to think about the whole pile, even just tackling one small thing or breaking it down step by step can make it feel a bit more manageable."

If I can ask, how then do you deal with the backlog of other things that accumulate?

Hey @Jlol

It is completely understandable why those "standard" suggestions feel like just another set of chores when you’re already running on empty. There is a specific kind of irony in being told to "do more" to recover from having "done too much." 💚

When you are in the thick of autistic burnout, your executive function is often the first thing to go, making the "mountain of responsibilities" feel even more insurmountable. If "making time" isn't an option, the focus usually has to shift from adding recovery activities to reducing the sensory and cognitive load of the life you are already living.

I do have a few suggestions to give you as an AuDHDer myself who has been in burnout before.

Since you can’t change your commute or your hours, look at the sensory input during those times. Burnout often makes us hypersensitive to stimuli we usually tolerate. If you are cycling or using transit, are there ways to dampen the noise? High-fidelity earplugs or bone-conduction headphones can reduce the world's noise without adding a task to your day. When you get home, try a "sensory blackout" for just 15 minutes. No lights, no scrolling, no talking. Just sitting in the dark or wearing an eye mask.

If you can’t reduce work hours, look for "micro-accommodations" that lower the cost of masking: Give yourself permission to use "scripts" or shorter responses at work to save the energy usually spent on complex social navigation. Also, if your job allows, take 30-second "stare at nothing" breaks. It sounds small, but it prevents the cumulative "glitchy" feeling that builds up by midday.

Rest doesn’t have to mean sitting still and thinking about your to-do list (which, as you noted, just causes more stress). For many of us neurodivergent folk, rest is found in "bottom-up" regulation, things that soothe the nervous system without requiring thought. This might be weighted blankets, specific textures, or repetitive sounds while you are doing those unavoidable household chores. If you have a hobby or interest that feels "automatic," leaning into that for 10 minutes is often more restorative than an hour of forced "meditation."

When the "leak in the boat" feels overwhelming, it’s okay to lower the standards of what "fixed" looks like. If the laundry is clean but not folded, it’s still functional. If you’re eating off paper plates for a week to avoid the dishes, that is a valid burnout management strategy. If the mountain of chores is causing paralysis, pick one thing you can do for exactly five minutes, then stop.

The "make time" advice often misses the point that for an autistic person, the "time" isn't just minutes on a clock, it's the cognitive energy required to use those minutes. Sometimes, the best way to deal with burnout isn't to recover faster, but to exist more quietly and softly 💚

@Jlol That’s such a good question! The backlog can definitely feel overwhelming. I try to remind myself that I don’t have to tackle it all at once. Sometimes I make a very small “priority” list of the absolute essentials for the day, and anything else just sits until I have capacity.

Even just picking one thing from the backlog and doing that is a win. The rest doesn’t disappear, but breaking it down into tiny steps can make it feel less impossible. I say this to myself “It’s totally okay to let some things wait, progress doesn’t have to be perfect, it just needs to be manageable.” This helps shift my all or nothing mindset, to something that’s more manageable for me.

It’s a tricky balance, but giving myself permission to go slow and celebrate small wins really helps me keep going without burning out more. I hope this helps, even if just a little

Hey @Jlol ,

@MatchaToad has already provided some great ideas.

I just wanted to build on one:

This kind of burn out does not affect me so much these days. In my past job I used to find 2 to 5-minute meditations helpful in resetting my focus and calmness. I started with guided apps such as through Smiling Mind or Headspace, then eventually, I could do it on my own. Body scans or breathing to counts were my favourite. I did these during my lunch time, after I ate. I found that the time I spent meditating paid itself off when my concentration and work output improved after the short 'circuit breaker'.

Hope this helps! Let us know how you go 😊