ANZAC Day

Hi @Magpie22

I just wanted to pop by and welcome you to the forums. Thank you for sharing some of your own experiences and complicated emotions that are brought on by ANZAC day. Good on you for finding what events feel right for you and allow you have a day that sounds as though it's full of reflection.

I'll be really interested to see how other members approach this day.

Hi @Magpie22

Similarly to you, I faced many systematic failures at the end of my career. It was a long time ago and I have had a LOT of therapy since, but some things do stick no matter how hard we try.

I've also lost family and mates along the way - some from combat, some from service related injury/illness, some at their own hand.

You're also not alone in having mixed emotions around ANZAC Day. Throughout my healing journey I have connected with so many amazing veterans and I'm still connected with a lot of friends I met through service too. I've outgrown a lot of friends, some are in denial about having PTSD and it shows in different addictions (I can see it as I've been an addict), some have moved on and undertaken years of rehab, some are happy existing as a pensioner, some are healed enough to be healing others, and some are perpetual people pleasers to their own detriment - I can see that now, I'm a recovered people pleaser ha!

These days I like to go to a dawn service on my own or take my son if its my day with him. He's old enough to explain mental health to now, and although I haven't explained everything to him he knows its both a sad and happy day for me so I feel all the feels in the dark at the dawn service. He knows that sometimes there will be tears, sometimes it'll just be deep breaths, but he knows thats the place where I think about the sad parts. The sacrifices made, the losses, the failures, the commiserations. Then after that is done its time to celebrate. Time to celebrate. I like to go do some fun stuff, and that day it's both for me and them - for my mates or family members who can't do that stuff now because they're gone, too injured, too sad, too whatever. Even for the mates who could be doing the same but won't yet. But also for my son and family who have also had to deal with the fallout of my service.

Sometimes I'll hang out with veteran mates on the day, grabbing a coffee or meal or working out at the gym. I stay away from pubs too, alcohol affects my brain quickly even on a good day, and drunk people annoy me too. "I'm too old for this BS" does come out my mouth too often these days haha!

I suppose now I've been told about this place it will be a good place to visit too!

Hey there

ANZAC Day is a good day for me to be alone and no one questioning me about taking time for myself.

at the same time, I get sick of the states and assumptions from old rsl staffers or those running the joint. It’s te as if I am an outsider and don’t belong there amongst them

Thank you for sharing @Breakfast68 . I don't know much about what it's like in RSLs, so I'm grateful to hear your experiences.

I can certainly hear that down time or quiet time can be so reviving.

What do you enjoy doing in your spare time? (No pressure to respond if you don't feel up to it)

@Magpie22 @Azalea @Ru-bee

Hey there

similar to what others have contributed, I don’t feel welcomed or even a part of the day itself.
As an Indigenous serviceman, my exit was a huge relief for me personally from the institutionalised racism and bigotry across the defence force.
it is still the same after so many years out and the constant fighting again not just DVA but also rednecks within the RSL. Those who think they are actually above everyone else.

I have never ever felt welcomed. So I bypass any dawn service officiated with the RSL, and head along to smaller community gatherings where I do feel safer and appreciated.
things will never change in the RSL brigade it is now a business and not a service for veterans. It’s more about the $’s they can make from pokies or bars and restaurants.
nit a safe place for me as an individual and ANZAC Day, and I don’t see that changing

I like to get away to a cabin I have with my family and just enjoy company on a river and with people who also avoid the commercial

side of ANZAC Day

I hope you find this space helpful. Your voice is so important @Breakfast68 , both as a veteran as well as an Indigenous person.

It is like a pressure valve release, knowing I can pop on hear and just chat. Quite calming and no one else needs to know around me.
My experiences are probably no different to other veterans, but have a different lens to it around my treatment as an Indigenous soldier in the 80’s and 90’s.
None, or extremely little, regard for mental health safety back then and no consideration around the racism and bastardisation inexperienced regularly. But I stuck it out for quite a number of years because it was where I thought I belonged - the relief was huge when I left.

Tagging you into the above posts @Oaktree

@Breakfast68 I replied earlier but messed something up when posting so I’ll try again

I’m sorry about the racism and bigotry you faced and that you don’t feel welcome on ANZAC Day, that isn’t ok.

I agree with @tyme that you, your voice and experiences are important and appreciated, and I know I’m not alone in being proud to have served alongside Indigenous ADF members. This made me I realise I didn’t tell them that enough, thanks for the reminder to message them.

Going away to a cabin sounds lovely, I’d much rather chilling in nature than with drunk people also!