Hi.
im middle aged Aboriginal artist.
I am Audhd and live with chronic pain.
On top of just finding everyday life challenging, the world is throwing more at me than I can handle.
My step dad has cancer and not long to live, in the meantime I have had a massive falling out with my sister in law and it has resulted in me being disconnected from my brother her husband and my little cousin/sister, as she is close to her. My whole issue with her was that she made me feel like an outsider in my own family. Anyway the heartbreak of having lost 2 very important relationships of my brother and cousin, while trying to deal with my step dad’s cancer has been really hard. My brother is looking after him but I never get any updates unless I harass him.
after that drama all started my NDIS funding was cut by about 75% of what I was getting. I had supports every day to help me manage my routine and keep on top of medication, diet and appts. I now only see my support worker 1 day a week and I no longer have any assistance with housework that I physically can’t do. The lack of support has meant that my health and wellbeing have serrated really badly.
Then my sister in law and friend got lymphoma and I have been trying to support her and my 7 year old niece.
Than 2 weeks ago our landlord said they are selling the house due to the budget and tax changes, so we now have to find somewhere to live.
Im really struggling. I don’t remember the last time I felt this depressed and anxious. When I found out I was neurodivergent, that helped me.
I understood myself better and having that and the right supports in my life actually started to make a difference.
I hadn’t had any admissions to hospital since those 2 things started working for me.
But having almost of my supports pulled from under me and then having all these other external issues has just messed with me. I just cry and feel heartbroken and alone pretty much all the time.
I’ve been trying to help myself, I check in with my GP regularly and he has organised referrals for me to different community mental health programs and psychologists and I’m booked in but there are waiting periods for everyone I talked to.
In some ways what has kept me going has been regularly staying with my sister in law and niece to help them during the worst parts of her chemo recovery. I feel useful and loved and not alone when I am with them but it takes a toll and need to come home and recover so I don’t flare up my chronic pain from doing too much.
I have soooo much going on right now and I know that feeling completely exhausted and wanting to cry all the time is probably a justified response but I know me, if I don’t get some support, the pain and overwhelm will get too much for me and push my impulsive side into serious risk taking behaviour, especially when I’m home alone ruminating all day.
so I thought if I could find something online where I could get support. So I decided to sign up to the forums.
I hope having people to chat to might help me feel less isolated and help me process everything that’s been thrown at me.
I’m trying not to give myself a hard time but I don’t want to be sad and depressed anymore and I don’t know what to do about it.
